be.

I probably should post about advent today.
Ruth chapter 4, you know.

Buuuut....I'm trying to avoid doing things I really don't have to do just because I feel like I have to do them.
Ruth 4 can wait for tomorrow. It's awesome stuff.


I am constantly feeling the tension of growing into who in the world God wants me to be.  Sometimes I feel pressure to/want to dress super cute and trendy and have really nice clothes and have a perfectly in shape body and other days i'm perfectly content to wear an apron and a messy bun and I remind myself that this body is temporary and it is going to age and fall apart. no. matter. what.

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I still see my silly twelve year old self because I'm catching myself in the middle of doing something totally dumb and immature. And I feel really young. But then I remember that I'm married and I have a baby.  Then I remember going through labor and that instantly makes me feel like I have earned major grown-up points.

I read all these popular blogs of women who craft and photograph and do really cute stuff to their houses and make money for it. And I want to be like them.  Then I think about how I sometimes get overwhelmed just by my pile of laundry and ironing and the dishes in the sink and I wonder how in the world I would ever have time for more than just house upkeep.  And other days I feel totally capable and excited and ready to just be the next Martha Stewart.
And then...just when I'm ready to tackle the world of craftiness and sewing and decorating and cooking and being the cutest domestic and creative person you've ever even met...I remember Jesus. (good huh?)
I remember that I am here.
For. Him.

No other reason.
Not to be a decorator or seamstress.
Not to have the cutest and cleanest home. (whew.)
Not to even be the best wife and sweetest mom.

I am here. for. Him.


And so I find myself in the middle of all this tension asking Him - just what? what - who - what kind of wife do You want me to be?
what kind of mom?
what kind of woman?

Do You want me to have a successful photography business?
do You want me to have a popular blog?
do You want me to craft and sew and make creative things?
do you want me to homeschool and make homemade bread?

because in all of these things, I can honor Jesus. And I can also honor Him without doing any of these things.
The only thing that matters is Jesus and lining myself up under Him so He can be all He wants to be through me.
And if all I ever do in this life is love my husband and my babies well - in a way that makes them want to love and know Jesus - and nobody else ever knows about me or wants to be like me or anything like that, then I shall be content.
As long as I am who He wants me to be, I will be content.

This was a super long post.
I almost wondered if I should break it into two posts then I remembered that no one reads this blog so it doesn't even matter :)

seated at the table

Ruth 2

This verse stuck out to me the most from Ruth 2 today:

"At mealtime Boaz said to her, "come here, that you may eat of the bread and dip your piece of bread in the vinegar."  So she sat beside the reapers; and he served her roasted grain, and she ate and was satisfied and had some left."

This is how Jesus is.

He invites us to a table we don't belong at.

He gives us food to eat.

He gives us so much that we have more than enough.

He is so good.

Ruth

The story of Ruth is a beautiful love story, isn't it? 

It seems like every time I read it, I see new little hints of Boaz's love for Ruth...and how he is such a picture of our Redeemer. 

In chapter 1, two comparisons are obvious between Boaz and Jesus. 

1. They live in Bethlehem (house of bread) 

2. They both arrive at the moment of our greatest need. 

Boaz entered Ruth's life when she was a hungry, grieving, young widow.  Left all alone with her mother-in-law, but by her own choice. Such loyalty. 

The city is recovering from a famine. 

Ruth is a blatant foreigner.  Very unappreciated in this culture, especially being a Moabitess. 

Jesus arrives in Bethlehem as the very inconspicuous answer to centuries of prayers. 

They weren't expecting an infant. 

Nevertheless, the Bread of Life was born in a manger in a city where hungry people had been wandering and wondering and waiting for something to fill their souls. 

And fill He did.  

That's just the beginning of the beautiful story.  I probably told a little more than I should have in what was supposed to be the preface, but I can't help it - it's too good. 

Passed over...

In Exodus 12, the Lord passed over the homes of the Israelites with blood on the doorpost.
The firstborn child in every home without blood on the doorpost would die. 


I wonder...did anyone stay awake that night curious to see the tail of the death angel disappearing through the streets?  Did mothers hold their firstborns extra close, knowing God's promise to save those coveredby the blood would hold true, but feeling the weight of the wrath being poured out all around them?
I would have.

What a relief the next day to find their babies breathing. crying. living. 


What horror to hear Egyptian families screaming.  Not one house without someone dead.

And this story is true, but it is a foreshadowing of a reality truer still...the wrath of God is being poured out and will one day be poured out once and for all, but for those who have believed in Jesus and have His blood covering their hearts, death will pass over.  Rather, we will reign in life.
Jesus is the passover lamb. Slain on our behalf, and sufficient to make us completely and totally righteous in the sight of God.
A miracle indeed.

"In the forebearance of God, He passed over the sins previously committed..." (Romans 3)

The Promised Lamb...

Gen. 17

...In you all the families of the earth will be blessed.

God gave Abraham a promise with the final component being the in him - Abraham - all the families of the earth will be blessed. God had promised old, childless Abraham an heir. A son.  Through that line, another Son would be born...One who would bless the entire world.


The promised child was finally born. Isaac.
Not too long after - now I'm not sure how old Isaac was, but since time flies as a parent anyways, I'm sure to Abraham it seemed only moments after the Promised Child was born - God asked Abraham to give Isaac back to Him as a burn offering.


My heart would break.
I would kick and scream. I would be totally confused and question God a million times - Are you sure, sure, suuuure this is what you want me to do?!?


Isaac asked aren't we forgetting something? where is the sacrifice?




God will provide for Himself a lamb, my son. 




Abraham obeyed, though - and so believed that promise of God to make him a great nation that he put his soul at rest by believing that God would just have to raise Isaac from the dead.  He was that certain of God's promise.

Isaac is a beautiful foreshadowing of Jesus in how he willingly laid himself on the altar.  He submitted to his father's command and didn't run when he totally could have.
Right when Abraham was about to low the knife to the body of his son - the son he waited 25 years for - the angel of the Lord decreed for him to STOP.

There, caught in the thicket, was the sacrifice. A ram.
A ram?
Hadn't Abraham said that God would provide a lamb?

The lamb would come at another time.
He, too, would be someone's precious baby.  A long waited for child.  And He would willingly lay Himself on the wood in submission to His Father's plan.
But no one would stop this lamb from being slain.

No, this lamb would be beated, bruised, whipped, and finally butchered to death.
His death would bring us life.
His sacrifice would atone for our sins.

This lamb...is Jesus.

days like this

Sleeping in a few more minutes and waking up with hot chocolate and the Bible.

Toothless smiles from my boy...all day long.

Walking around the block with my hubs. Meeting some neighbors (we've been waiting for a long time!).
Refreshing December air...not too cold.

Extra long goodbye kisses.

I sure do love him. 


Rice cereal for the first time! Better enjoyed off my pinky than off a spoon. I don't mind one bit.

Days like this invite gratitude to the Giver of all good things.

He has been so good to me. 

just for today

In the spirit of committing to blog everyday of December, here is what we have going on today and why this post won't be longer...

Levi leaked out of his diaper and peed on our freshly washed sheets. (Freshly washed because he spit up on them yesterday.)

Rachel Brummel's baby shower - welcome baby Jackson!

Oil changes and emissions test

SEC championship

Pinterest craft party!

Feedings and perhaps a photoshoot in between.


Fun and busy day!

Jesus...the Ark of our Salvation

In Genesis 7, I see Jesus as the ark of our salvation.

Somehow the story of Noah's Ark has turned into a cute little nursury rhyme or fairy tale.  Sweet little animals marching in pairs enter an ark for a jolly cruise across the ocean with their friends, Noah and his family.

Not so much.

This is a story God getting so fed up with the evil in the world He created that He wipes the slate clean and starts all over again.  Many, many, many people died.  Innocent children...even babies. Only eight people were saved on the entire planet.

This is not a cute story, but it is a precious foreshadowing of Jesus and how He rescues us from the wrath to come.

When God's wrath was being poured out on the earth because of their wickedness, He welcomed 8 chosen people into the ark that He designed and He shut the door behind them.

He did it all. 


The rain fell and the waters rose, but all who were inside the ark were safe.
What a beautiful picture of Jesus.  When the wrath of God that we are so deserving of is poured out, those who have believed in Jesus are hidden in Christ, sealed by the Holy Spirit, and safe from the judgment of God - all because Christ experienced it on our behalf. 

He is coming!

December 1st. 

Advent begins today.  I love the countdown to Christmas.  I love trying to imagine the anticipation that must have filled Israel's heart as they waited. 

And waited. 

And longed, dreamed, hoped...

And waited.  

Till finally, He came.  The Messiah - the King who had been promised.  He came! Not a minute too soon or too late on the Kingdom Calendar, but what a long time that must have felt like! 

When our babies get a little bit older, we're going to do a Jesus tree, but this year I think I'm going to do a little personal advent.  I'm going to look for prophesies and foreshadowings of Jesus in the Old Testament and meditate on them until Christmas. 

...Starting in Genesis, of course. 

The first mention of a Savior is at the first moment of our need in Genesis 3.  Adam and Eve sinned, and as God is explaining the curses, He tells the serpent that He will enmity between his seed and the woman's seed. He (Jesus) will bruise the serpent on the head (a fatal blow!) and the serpent will bruise Jesus on the heel (temporary pain - and crucifixion is the only death that involves a bruised heel!). Then at the end of the chapter,  Adam names his wife "Eve" -  mother of all the living.  Why in the world would he give her such a hopeful name when they had just been given a death sentence?  

I believe that through the first blood sacrifice that God performed on their behalf (He skinned an animal to cover their nakedness), they learned that one day another sacrifice would be made - a perfect one - who would give eternal life to all who would believe.  

And so the story begins!

here we go...

I've wanted to start blogging for a while now but I just haven't had the guts to get started.  I think I got scared about having a potential audience and feeling the pressure to post something everyday.  I also didn't know exactly what I would write about and if I would have anything to say for days on end.


But today I decided to go for it.


And the thing that really helped me out is that I'm not going to tell anyone but Ben about this blog for a long time.
And it's not going to be in an orderly and organized manner...it's going to have a little of everything - Jesus, my loves (Ben and Levi), photography, and the journey the Lord has us on to who knows where...Vermont? India?...and what happens along the way...adoption? ministry?


It's also going to include daily things that probably won't be very exciting to many people.

For example, I'm completely tickled about a trick I learned on Pinterest - When you've used up a cluster of green onions, stick the bulbs in a glass of water and get this...THEY GROW BACK! I've been so excited about them every day. How does the Lord comes up with things like that? Don't starfish do that too? Does anything else? If so, I'll start a whole window sill garden of things that reproduce themselves. So fun.
That's all for this introductory post. Stay tuned for glimpses of His glory in the everyday things of life.